The Mama Making Podcast

Mariela De Santiago’s Birth Story | New Mom Talk Podcast

• Jessica Lamb, Mariela De Santiago • Season 3 • Episode 88

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On this week’s episode of The Mama Making Podcast…

Jessica sits down with Mariela De Santiago of New Mom Talk Podcast  to hear her candid and inspiring journey into motherhood. Mariela opens up about her experiences from pregnancy to postpartum recovery, shedding light on the lack of preparation many moms face for the postpartum stage. She discusses the challenges of labor and delivery and highlights the critical role of having a supportive partner.

Mariela shares valuable advice for new and expecting moms, including the importance of building a list of trusted providers and being open to accepting help. Reflecting on her journey, she offers insights and lessons that will resonate with moms navigating their own path to motherhood. Tune in for a heartfelt conversation filled with wisdom and encouragement.

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Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (00:58)
Hello everyone and welcome to the Mama Making Podcast. If you're new here, I'm your host Jessica. If you're not new, then welcome back. Today I'm very excited to have Mariella here. She's from the New Mom Talk podcast and we are talking birth stories. I'm super excited. This is kind of the antithesis of me starting the podcast, being obsessed of hearing everybody's birth stories. So I'm excited to get on a roll with it. So before we get started,

Tell people who you are, where you're from, whatever you're comfortable sharing.

Mariela (01:29)
Hello everyone, thank you so much for having me here. I'm so excited to be here. So my name is Mariella and I am the host and creator of the New Mom Talk podcast. I'm also the host and founder of the Carlsbad Mom Crew. So if you're in San Diego County, definitely look for us. We're a group of moms that get together. And I have almost two and a half year old son. I cannot believe it because it feels like

just yesterday, he was this tiny little baby in my arms that I repeatedly asked not to grow up and I still do that. I ask him not to grow up.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (02:07)
Yeah, I can sympathize. I have an almost two year old and anytime I say that I'm like, my God, how did this happen?

Mariela (02:12)
I know, I blinked and now you're big.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (02:15)
I know. Well, I'm so excited to hear more about your birth story. Like I said, this is kind of the start of where my podcast inspiration came from. So I'm excited to hear about your story. We can jump around wherever you want to. But let's just start at the beginning of when did you decide you were wanting to have a baby? What was the start of it all?

Mariela (02:39)
Yeah, so our story starts very unexpected. So we were just kind of, we'd been engaged for over a year. We were kind of like, you know, whatever happens, happens. I honestly was not sure that I wanted to be a mom. So that's kind of where my mentality was with like, if it happens, it happens. I don't really want to decide, cause I wasn't like, I know I don't want kids. just.

wasn't really sure that I was ready to give up my life. And so it happened, which then we were like, okay, well, here we are. Now we're gonna be parents to a human, not a dog, a human. Okay, we gotta figure this out. So from there, fast forward, I, like probably a lot of people did not do a lot of preparation when it comes to the postpartum stage, when it comes to...

I didn't even know what a birth plan was. So I really wasn't very like in tune and focused on that. And now that I'm in this world, I feel like I hear so much and I don't feel like I missed out, but I do feel like there were things I wish I had done differently, at least for like the postpartum preparation as far as the birth.

Now I definitely feel like I'm a lot more knowledgeable and what I would do second time around. But I, we had our son at 39 weeks. We were, I worked out up until the day that I had him. So one thing that I would always do is I would do my workout and then go to the,

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (04:08)
So, thank

Mariela (04:32)
the doctor's visit because you know get all of that gross stuff on your belly so I wouldn't shower beforehand. I'm just gonna go to the doctor's office and feel disgusting anyway so it doesn't matter if I just ran or did yoga. So did that totally expecting that I was gonna come home after visits. It's the one where they do the check, they check their heart rate. So I got there for like almost an hour.

having to turn, having to do this, you just have the monitor on your belly. Well, the monitor did not like my son's heart rate and I did not get to come home that day. I got to go straight to the hospital. So I was gonna be induced, which I think for me it was like, but I'm not ready because I didn't pack A, B, C, D. Our bags were pretty much packed, but I still had a few things that were left.

out. was that I hadn't showered. Now I was going to the hospital and like I really just need a shower but now I'm not going to shower. I didn't get to shower for probably I think it was like two days. And then it was the whole process of like going to the hospital was like I just want to have my baby. I just want to come in and be out. Obviously when you go into labor you have no idea how long that is.

You we were being induced, so I had no idea what to expect, how long any of that was gonna be. I had no plan. I really didn't know what was going, like what I was doing. I just wanted this baby out, healthy. So my husband was really the advocate for everything. Like he would talk to the staff. He was really like the one, the go -to person because he didn't wanna stress me out and...

you know, the baby was already stressed out. Being at the hospital was just not comfortable. Like, I got zero sleep. I know that's how it goes, but I literally did not have one hour of interrupted sleep because I constantly had nurses come in. Because of the heart rate, you have to turn over. need to not lay on your back. You need to come onto your hands and knees. You need to do this. So it was constant movement.

I just wanted to sleep for a while before I became a mom.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (06:54)
Yeah, it's so funny the things that kind of stick out and definitely like not taking a shower and not getting an ounce of sleep definitely has an impact on your story.

Mariela (07:08)
Yes, like you want to go in and I think a shower is like a big thing for me at least like I just wanted to feel like Okay, I'm fresh. I can do this Because I'm not gonna be fresh after I do this

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (07:19)
Yeah.

Yeah, and I think that I mean, there's evidence on like the mental health side of things that a shower, like just visualizing like, everything running out to being clean and fresh and ready to go is could be like, totally mindset changing. So I definitely identify with that.

Mariela (07:40)
Yeah, it totally can be. There's just that feeling of like cleanliness.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (08:17)
Yeah. Yeah. So tell me, going back a little bit, how did you choose your provider?

Mariela (08:25)
Health insurance, right? I think that's a lot of people. I liked my provider. I don't have any complaints. I have complaints about the lack of education that we have. And I don't think that's the provider's fault. I think that's the system's fault.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (08:43)
Yeah, I would, I would agree. so when you did, I mean, I mean, it's kind of a time away from now, but when you had your first appointment, what did it like look and feel like? What did, for lack of better words, what was like the vibe that you felt going in to see your provider for the first time?

Mariela (09:04)
So the first time, well, I called after I took an at -home pregnancy test and the first time going through this, I didn't know what to expect. I'm like, I think I need to come in and see if I'm pregnant. And they're like, well, did you take a pregnancy test? Yes, I did. well, you're pregnant. So we'll see you at, I don't remember what it was. I think it was like nine weeks or something like that. Okay, so we go in.

And I think that visit is so uncomfortable, right? Like for those of you that maybe have not experienced that yet, having a wand, that wand, my husband was there with me and he goes, my gosh, that's so uncomfortable. I'm like, this is no different than like what we go through. Yeah, this is like a pap smear, maybe a little different tool, but.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (09:50)
pretty typical, yeah.

Yeah. So did you feel like when you went, I guess what I'm asking is, did you feel like you were unprepared when you went in or you were just like, I'm going to let them tell me what to do in this area. I'm not, I'm not, almost like deferring to the experts. Like you're the baby people. I'm going to listen to what you tell me to do. Or did you feel like, I don't know, I'm uneasy. I'm unsure of what to ask.

or what was your feeling going into it?

Mariela (10:28)
So I actually came in with a list of questions and I did that for every appointment. I would think of something I had a little on my phone, the notes, literally like questions that I was thinking on the go that I would put in there. Okay, so for my next visit, I would ask this. So I did, I came in with a ton of questions of like, when would I notify people? What are like the risks? I just had a ton of questions and just kind of based on like what I wanted to know. And I feel like I probably also did a little bit of a Google search.

Google, you know, I was Googling things, but like, think I also like Googled the questions and then then wanted to have more info. So yeah, going in there, I was expecting them to be like experts and to kind of guide me and the questions were very much, they were answered, but it was like, like one ended, one word answer, very like here's.

answer to your question, nothing to add to it. Not like look into this website, maybe pick up some books, here are some of my favorite ones and thinking about that now I do wish like that would have been offered. Again, I think it's the system you know they're very much tight with the amount of time that they have with us so I didn't know where to

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (11:29)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Mariela (11:52)
And look, I was working full time. Like I was the first out of my friends to be pregnant. Anyone that I had known that was pregnant had their kids were much older. So the science is different even if they are five years older, you know, like I didn't have anything, any sort of resources other than lovely Google.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (12:17)
Yeah, which can be positive and negative. But it does sound like once the ball got rolling that you were interested in learning more and had a lot of questions that you came in with. So give yourself a little bit more credit that you were at least trying to be a little bit more prepared in an area that you were kind of unsure about. So I think you should definitely give yourself some credit there.

Mariela (12:40)
thank you. Yes, I tried, you know, just I didn't know what to expect. So I wanted to know what I needed to know, what I thought I needed to know.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (12:46)
Yeah, right. So what was your pregnancy like in general?

Mariela (12:53)
I honestly had a really smooth pregnancy. can't complain. I'm very fortunate. I'm probably jinxing myself now because if we have a second one, it's probably not going to be this way. yeah, I mean, I didn't have any morning sickness. I didn't have any issues sleeping. I worked out, like I said, up until the day that I had my son. I was very against like getting

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (13:04)
I say the same exact thing. I'm like, there's no chance if we have more.

Mariela (13:21)
pregnancy clothes, which I am bummed that I didn't. I like went ahead and I got the Align pants from Lululemon. Wore those up until I actually am wearing them right now. But because they're so stretchy and they don't dig in, I just wore like the Bella band over them when my belly got too big. I just got regular t -shirts and I kind of now wish that I had gotten like

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (13:34)
That's amazing.

Mm -hmm.

Mariela (13:49)
cute clothes, but my thought was I don't want to spend money on something that I'm not going to wear for more than a few months.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (13:58)
Yeah. It's so funny you say that because I was the exact same way. I was like, I'm wearing regular clothes as long as I possibly can. And, I got loaned some maternity clothes. And the second I pulled these like jeans on with the, like elastic, was like, my God, what have I been doing? I'm so stupid. Why did I not? I mean, just for the comfort alone and not having to be like, okay, how'd like,

what kind of shirt do I have to wear with this or can I just like it was just so comfortable and like the relief of comfortability when you're like enormous is remarkable.

Mariela (14:36)
Yeah, and I was like committed to also just being able to tie my shoes.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (14:43)
Yes, my gosh, yes.

Mariela (14:45)
because it literally should be an Olympic sport. I succeeded, but it was like, okay, how do I get my leg around my big belly so I can...

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (14:53)
Yeah, not without struggle. So what did it look like? So like I said, it seemed like you were a little bit more interested in knowing what was next for you. How did you prepare in terms of like, through your pregnancy? think a lot of times moms are like, okay, I'm preparing for the baby, which I think is very natural. What kind of things did you do in that area?

Mariela (15:18)
Honestly, I think all I did was prepare for the baby and offer myself, which I would, and I think it's very common as a first time mom. The second time around, it will be the opposite. My baby register, my registry will be, you can donate to the postpartum doula fund and a house cleaner fund.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (15:22)
Yeah, yeah, I think that's very common.

Yep, yep, yep, the baby has all it needs. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. my gosh. Yeah. So, in preparing in that area, what did getting your hospital bag together look like considering you, you, didn't know as much as you know now, I assume about like how to set up a room to make it feel comfortable and get your best sleep and all of that kind of stuff. What did it look like for you getting prepared to go to the hospital?

Mariela (15:51)
I -

I looked at different websites that had checklists essentially. So, you know, learned about like bringing your own pillow so that you're a little bit more comfortable. I definitely did that, but I did make one mistake. I brought a white pillowcase, which I love white. Do not do that because now they have one of my white pillowcases. So probably more comfortable than the hospital ones.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (16:10)
since that had.

no.

Yeah, for sure. Some mom is very lucky.

Mariela (16:35)
And there's the, you know, like the flip flops that I brought for this shower. So I definitely had a lot of things that I just would not have thought of. Like had it just been me, I would have thought like, yeah, I just bring clothes for yourself and for the baby, my toiletries, things like that. So I did a lot of like different lists. I had a whole checklist on my phone so that I would make sure to check that off as I'm packing.

want to say I had two bags. I have like my own bag and then I have the baby bag and then which was really nice and then I also like brought the shampoo that I wanted the body wash that I wanted to be used on my baby because you know when they're in the hospital they'll offer their first bath and I said yes to the first bath but I did not want them using Johnson & Johnson on my baby and if yeah

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (17:28)
Yeah, I think that's more than fair.

Mariela (17:30)
So, you know, I brought those type of things. I also made little like baskets for the different floors. So for like the delivery floor, I brought a little basket of treats for the nurses from bars to hand sanitizers to lotion, whatever I thought was just like a cute, simple like, thank you. No, please help me. I'm gonna have a baby and I'm probably gonna need your help.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (17:57)
Yeah, that's so sweet.

Mariela (18:00)
And I brought my music player because I wanted to be able to listen to music. and then a really long cord, a phone cord that was like six feet long so that I, yeah, you you want to be able to use your phone. I'm trying to think of what else I brought. Like, I think I did bring or thought about bringing activity books like Sudoku or if you like crossword puzzles, would it be nice?

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (18:11)
Yes.

Mariela (18:27)
Not that I ended up using any of that because like I said, I was interrupted every 15 minutes.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (18:30)
That's right.

Yeah. Yeah. So I want to get kind of into the details of what the day looks like as you, like you said, you did your workout, went into the office. What did that office visit look like in a little bit more detail?

Mariela (18:50)
So office visit, you go in, they lay you down on that table, they put the monitor on your tummy, so you're attached to this heart rate monitor where they're just monitoring baby. At one point, and my husband was with me, he went to all of the visits with me. At one point, the nurse came in and had me, I think turn on my side, she had me do something which made I,

That's what made the heart rate monitor go crazy and my baby's heart rate go crazy and then all of a sudden after that They're like whoop you got to go to the hospital Baby's heart rate is not good So from there we it's literally right next door. We could have walked to the hospital. So we I dropped off and Waited until my husband came back with all of our stuff. He took care of

having our dogs dropped off at dog daycare. had just, literally the week prior had just put in a Yale lock for this purpose. Like, okay, well, what if we need somebody to come and drop the dogs off because we have to go to the hospital. So if you don't have a Yale lock or like one of those keyless entries, that is like definitely something to consider if you have like dogs or anything that needs to get done at home, lifesaver. Yeah, it was amazing.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (20:13)
Yeah, that's a great tip.

Mariela (20:17)
And then after that, my husband came back, met me at the hospital and I love food. So I sent him on his way to go get me food. I was like, I'm not going to do this on an empty tummy. I need food. You got to feed me before I get hangry and have a baby.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (20:34)
So backing up, to pause a second. When they said, you have to go to the hospital now, was it nurses? Was it the doctor? Like, what did that conversation look like?

Mariela (20:43)
It was the doctor, so the doctor came in, you know, talked about the heart rate and how this was concerning and she wasn't very comfortable just letting me go home because of the heart rate. I wanted to look more into it. And from there, sent me to be monitored at the hospital until they decided to induce me that night. So this was noon when I was checked into the hospital. I want to say my appointment was probably like at 1030.

So by noon I was in a bed. They had the heart rate monitor on me the entire time I was there. So that was up until, I want to say at 9 p was when they gave me the first dose for the Pitocin.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (21:35)
Okay. So in the, in the beginning, was like, things don't look how we want them to, we want you to go get monitored. So it wasn't like emergent. need to go right now. Or is that how you felt? Did you feel that way? Okay.

Mariela (21:42)
Mm -hmm.

No, it definitely felt that way. She told me I was going to the hospital. It wasn't an option. It was, we're going to monitor you. So I had to just go, right? Obviously, like you're going to trust, I'm going to trust my health provider. That's, I don't know. I don't, I'm not a specialist. It was my first baby. Like, sure. I felt fine. What does that mean?

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (22:05)
Right. Yeah.

Mariela (22:14)
So went in, was monitored and yeah, so I was attached to that heart rate monitor for like nine hours before the first dose. And then, you know, no sleep up until they kept checking on me. was, this is the part, my birth was uncomfortable. There was a lot of, we need to do this. Okay, well, so for example,

They gave me the first dose, gave me the second dose, would check to see if I was dilated. I think I got up to four centimeters and then was not dilating after that. They broke my water, put water back in. So there's a lot of discomfort, a lot of discomfort. It's just like, you know, you just feel like you're...

You're so vulnerable. Right? You're like, man, there's so many people in the room, so many hands everywhere. But obviously I want my baby to be safe. So I have to either figure out like why I would say no to this or why I would say yes to this. And that's where having my husband is the...

advocate was super, super helpful because it took some stress off of me. So with a constant back and forth, now after they broke my water, put more water back in, I wasn't dilating past the four centimeters, we kept talking about a C -section, then at five a my midwife left.

And so there was a new doctor and again back to the potentially having a c -section. Maybe we'll try to see if we can have a...

So there was kind of a plan in place of, we'll wait until, I think the time was probably around 5 .36, and then at that point we'll kind of decide. But there was a change in staff. So change in staff. Obviously communication isn't gonna be like, here's just this one patient and everything you need to know. Who knows how many patients they have. So.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (24:37)
Right.

Mariela (24:39)
husband and I talked about it and what we wanted to do and honestly I I wanted the c -section. I like at this point I'm so uncomfortable. It's so uncomfortable. If you know his heart rate is still going crazy, if my body is just not wanting to dilate, if this whole being induced is just not getting us to the ultimate goal like we just want a healthy baby.

So if the C -section is going to get us to that, then we'll just vouch for that. And we did. that the decision was pretty quick. So we kind of, from the time that there was new staff until about, I want to say 10, 945, 10 was when we were like, listen, we keep going back and forth. If we're going to do a C -section, let's just do the C -section. And it was like,

boom, all of a sudden, that was such a quick process. I couldn't believe it. It's like all of a sudden I blinked and then I had a baby. Which is kind of what happens when you think about how old they are, right? You blink and now you have a toddler. And I think, you know, I didn't have a birth plan. I don't know that I would do a birth plan next time. I think I would do maybe more of like,

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (25:44)
Yeah.

Yeah, right. So, sorry, go ahead.

Mariela (26:05)
I had an episode that talked about the birth plan and she described it as a birth menu. More of like a list of things of what you wish and what you are opposed to. So I think I would probably do more of that versus here's how I envision my birth to go because it's not gonna go the way I envision it. That's not reality.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (26:22)
Yeah.

Right. Yeah. And I think what's common or what I hear commonly is the two camps of either I didn't have a birth plan whatsoever and just kind of rolled with whatever, or I had a birth plan and I wanted it to go to the T and it just was not going to simply because your body and your baby are going to do whatever they're going to do. So I think a happy medium is great. And I love that suggestion of having like a menu or options to say,

Here are the options you'll have for each thing and you could have a preference either way, but nothing is going to go to plan.

Mariela (27:09)
Yeah, and I think that's me knowing myself. If I had this like birth plan, I would be very disappointed if it didn't go in the way that I wanted it to or envisioned it.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (27:19)
Yeah. Was there any kind of emotion that went along with choosing to have a C -section?

Mariela (27:34)
No, I mean, I feel like it was just like we wanted to go this route because clearly my body was not doing what the professionals were wanting it to do. What I was wanting it to do, what we wanted it to do for the baby to come out. And so a C -section was like the safe option to get him out, especially if like we were concerned about his heart rate.

So that worked out. He came out super healthy, was great, and definitely no regrets in that area. I definitely wish that I had just kind of planned a little bit better in the sense of like, what do I need now that I have a baby? But.

Yeah, you know, you don't know what you don't know. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what the process of having a baby was going to look like.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (28:32)
Yeah. So tell me a little bit more about the... Obviously you guys made a decision together on where you would like it to kind of go from there. And you said it was a very quick process. I feel like any C -section story I've heard, although it's like very standard, like standard of practice, everyone's story is different as to how they were prepped for it, what it like...

Sometimes the husband goes with you. Sometimes the husband comes in after. Tell me what you're with sharing as much as you're comfortable sharing. What did it all look like for you?

Mariela (29:08)
So I feel like I wasn't very involved. Like I said, my husband was the one that they communicated with and I wanted it to be that way. So they prepped everything. They roll me out to the operating room. My husband gets dressed in the suit that they give you and once they have everything prepared then they let him in. So that was really nice to have him there with me. I couldn't feel anything. I mean, I could feel my body kind of moving.

but I couldn't feel what was happening, right? I didn't realize that they're cutting. I mean, I they're cutting into my tummy, but I didn't realize that it's seven layers of skin and muscle and all that stuff. I didn't see anything. I think that was a little bit more traumatizing for my husband, because he did get to see it. And he was like, yeah, like your insides were not inside.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (30:01)
I see.

Yeah.

Mariela (30:08)
You know? Like I don't really know what he saw. He doesn't go through detail and like, yeah, you I saw them. Do you pull this out and place it on the table? Like, no, he was very like worried about his family being here on this table and him witnessing what's going on and are they going to be okay? So after...

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (30:17)
Yeah

Mariela (30:36)
He sees that again, I can't feel anything just my body moving. So numb, hear baby come out crying. My husband stays with him the rest of the time. So once baby was out, he was attached to the baby and then follows the baby wherever they need to take him to get checked, cuts the umbilical cord. Then they bring him back to me and

From then on, we were together the rest of the time. So, yeah, you know, that's something that I never thought about was like how traumatic it can actually be for like the partner that literally sees it all happen.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (31:17)
Yeah, I was just going to say that. feel like so often it's like, whatever, just deal with it. We're the ones doing all the work, which is true. But I think that we often forget, like, I cannot imagine how vulnerable and helpless of a position that is to be in. You're not contributing physically in any way. You're not.

You can't help the person you love while they're going through this experience. And then to go into like a surgery setting, I'm sure it's like, okay, I got to get my head right for this. So I think we fail to realize the impact that all of that has on the dad. And then, I mean, as it is for both parents, you just move right on to whatever's happening next. So yeah, I think we, we fail to remember that the dad's or, or partner.

is definitely going through something as well.

Mariela (32:14)
I know, yeah, there's a lot of focus on the mom and what the mom's body is going through, but very valid point there.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (32:25)
Yeah, yeah, we did. After we had our son, did, it was a really crazy experience. So we did like a processing after and I was, I think I was probably in the earlier camp of like, I'm the one doing all the work. do you, like dads are, should just be supportive. But I think after this processing experience and hearing what my husband felt during all that, I was like, wow, I guess you do have an impactful experience happening.

while I'm also having this experience as well.

Mariela (32:55)
I know, and then you can't really help them because now your hormones are literally crazy.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (33:00)
Right, right. So after the C -section, what happened for you guys? What did it all look like?

Mariela (33:07)
Then they moved us up to the.

What is that for called? Yeah, I guess you would call it that. Yeah. So.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (33:14)
Like mother, baby usually, or like antepartum between, think antepartum is between like labor and delivery or C -section and like the room you stay in. Kind of like recovery after, after, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Mariela (33:30)
Yeah, so it would be like that floor, you know, and all you hear are babies. Babies crying everywhere because the babies have been born. So we had our room. Baby was with us. Once baby is born, he does not leave parents sight, which I really liked that. Yeah, you you see movies of babies being in this like nursery. No, none of that baby is with you at all times.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (33:48)
I love that, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. OK.

Mariela (33:59)
I just leave the nursing. We had no problems there. Yeah.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (34:03)
I love that. Sometimes it's hard for moms who have had a seek section because your body, mean, after birth, your body's going through a lot anyway. But once you add like a surgical component to it, I have heard that a lot of moms have a hard time initiating breastfeeding, but that's really cool that you kind of picked it up right away.

Mariela (34:21)
Yeah, I mean he wanted to eat. I don't blame him. I think he has my appetite. Let's eat, So that, you know, very lucky in that area. Of course, no sleep. No sleep after that. And there's one moment I remember so clearly. It was the first night.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (34:24)
Yeah, right. been quite a few hours.

Yeah.

Mariela (34:43)
I feel like we were only in the hospital for two nights, maybe three nights max, I can't remember. So first night we're in there, I guess second night, let's call it the second night when he was born. We're watching TV because what else are you supposed to do when you're in this tiny little room and you're being woken up by a tiny little human that wants to eat every two hours? So we're watching TV, which is friends. I love friends. I don't know what was going on.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (35:04)
All right. Right.

Mariela (35:13)
on this day, but the episodes that were on were the episodes where Rachel's having her baby. Yes, and then there was one where like the babies on TV are crying. I kid you not, you could hear every baby on that floor crying and it was like 2 a my gosh, there was something, it must have been a full moon. I don't know what it was, but there was something going on. The energy was like babies are all hungry, babies are all up and crying and it's 2 a

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (35:19)
Really?

Yeah.

my gosh.

Mariela (35:40)
But you know, every, I was learning, I guess, about the feeding process. Couldn't leave the bed, because I had just had a surgery, so they had to come and check me and taking all the different medications that I was taking for pain. I could not wait to walk, though. I could not wait to get on my feet, get out of that bed. I just felt like...

my entire body was swollen from being unable to move.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (36:14)
Yeah, and then a surgery on top of it.

Mariela (36:16)
Yes, you know and.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (36:18)
Yeah, I was going to ask as someone who's like an active person, what did your body feel like afterwards? Obviously you're on pain medicine and things are a little different that way, but I'm, I'm sure there was still like hormones and feelings and, other, like you said, feeling swollen, all of that.

Mariela (36:38)
Lots of crying, lots of tears, but my body just needed, I just knew that if I could just walk, my walks were very, very slow. It was tiny little steps, but I just needed to get my blood flowing. Like, you know when your body is so swollen, if you're on an airplane and your feet swell from being on the plane, all you need is to just walk to get that blood flowing again.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (36:52)
Hmm. Yeah.

Yeah.

Mariela (37:06)
It made such a difference. and a shower. I hate that that was the first thing I asked as soon as we went up there. How soon can I take a shower? Because I got a shower.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (37:14)
Yeah. Yeah. And at that point it had been days since your last one.

Mariela (37:19)
right, and then your body is so...

Gosh, this is the part that I don't like, the recovery part when your body is, again, swollen, you're bleeding. I didn't know that you bled after a C -section. So you're in these mesh underwear. I was thinking I was gonna be able to walk out in my lube and lemon align pants that I had been wearing through my entire pregnancy. No.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (37:35)
Yeah.

Mariela (37:52)
Unless I wanted to look like I was wearing a diaper, could not do that. Luckily, I did pack my prenatal joggers, the one pair of joggers that I bought for when I was pregnant. You know, there's, you're just wearing all of the, all the stuff, super thick pads that feel like diapers. I liked the mesh underwear. think that's, that was.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (38:11)
Yeah.

Mariela (38:19)
the one thing that was like, okay, at least I don't have to get into my normal underwear.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (38:23)
Yeah. So what did things look like as you guys were nearing your end of your stay in the postpartum area and getting ready to head home?

Mariela (38:36)
So I was recovering pretty well. I was moving. was really trying to limit the amount of pain medication. I would only take the pen and medication if I felt like I really needed it. I just wanted to be home. I think that goes with anyone. I did not want to stay there a minute longer because it's kind of like the shower. Your atmosphere can kind of affect your mental health.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (39:05)
Yeah, for sure.

Mariela (39:07)
And where am going to feel the most comfortable in my own home with my dogs that were in doggie daycare that I wanted to have with me? So it was this, we were able to leave and pretty much right away. They gave us, I think you're allowed to stay a little bit longer if you have a C -section. I did not want that. I was like, no, I need my bed.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (39:11)
Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mariela (39:36)
I need, you know, my, I want to be able to use my own shower, my own toilet.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (39:41)
Yeah. Yeah. I think I'd feel the same way as well. my sister has four kids and on her fourth one, she's like, can I stay an extra day? I was so going home to three other kids in a, in a newborn. would probably be like, yeah, give me an extra day to, get it together before I, before I head home to the chaos. But I, I can sympathize with wanting to be in my own bed, take my own shower with my own towels.

Mariela (40:02)
Yeah.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (40:09)
get in my comfy clothes and just kind of like recover.

Mariela (40:13)
Yeah, you know, just have the baby on you, nurse and watch trash TV.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (40:18)
Yeah, yeah, me and me and Bodie, my son watched a lot of Housewives. He had a lot of catching up to do so. So I can sympathize with that. But

Mariela (40:28)
I think I watched the entire Sex and the City seasons, all of them, and the movies.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (40:35)
I love it. Yeah. And it's so easy to just like have in the background. You can kind of like sleep, not sleep. It's, it's nice to have the opportunity to be able to just be and let your body do what it is going to do to recover. Obviously there's only so much you can do considering you have a newborn, but I definitely remember like sitting in a specific spot in the couch.

that I was like, this is going to be our spot sitting and just being like, letting my body just do what it needed to do. And, kind of just like going with the flow.

Mariela (41:12)
Yeah, I mean it's the only time that you are going to be able to watch TV uninterrupted.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (41:18)
Yeah. Yeah. So, with that said, what did postpartum look like for you once you guys were all back home?

Mariela (41:26)
Lots of tears. my goodness. I had a really hard time looking at my scar. Like I did not, I couldn't look at it. Like washing it was even just uncomfortable because it was like, I can't believe that. And I have these stitches on my body. It was learning. How do you feed this tiny human so often? my goodness. All they want to do is eat.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (41:29)
Yeah.

here.

Mariela (41:56)
He ate a lot. I had help. My mother -in -law came to help, which is really nice, but it was hard for me to accept the help because I didn't know how you just accept somebody helping. You know, next time around I will have a menu I will be using Instacart. I'll have everything and say, please familiarize yourself with the kitchen and here are the meals I would like. Thank you.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (42:20)
Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Second time around, it's like, my God, what was I afraid to ask for? But, when it's new and you like, don't know what you're getting into and you want to be like super mom, I think it's very common to not one, not know how to accept the help, but then also to kind of, be able to organize yourself enough to be like, this is what I need. This is what I want.

Like you said, it's so overwhelming emotionally too. Like you just had this crazy experience. You're not sleeping. You're probably a little hungry if you're nursing or breastfeeding. So I think that there are all these different things that come up for you that being able to be like, yeah, sure. Hold my baby is seems simple enough, but for the new mom or newly postpartum mom, it's not so simple.

Mariela (43:12)
Yeah, and your body is like this very foreign object that you're living in. There's also that, right? Like, your fit, your clothes don't fit, you're bloated, you're swollen everywhere, you're not sleeping, you can barely walk.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (43:21)
Yeah.

Mm.

Yeah, and just not recognizing the skin you're in is very...

I know. I don't know that I have a word to describe it. Feeling like out of body is, while also being very much in your body is strange.

Mariela (43:51)
Yeah, it's like this foreign object that you like.

should be caring for, but now it's also like your bras don't fit if you're nursing. So now you need to get...

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (44:04)
Yeah, yeah, the small practical stuff is like, well, wait a second.

Mariela (44:10)
Yeah, which you couldn't really prepare for that postpartum because you didn't know what to expect when you were pregnant because you didn't know what to expect. But just little things like that. I wish I had invested in super comfy PJs, like just pajama sets or comfy lounging clothes. I lived in my Viori pants once I was able to fit back into them. But just...

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (44:15)
Right?

right?

Yeah.

Mariela (44:39)
invest in things that I knew I was going to be living in instead of like, only in this for a couple of months. Like, doesn't matter. You just, your body just went through some, crazy experience. You can treat yourself to some nice PJs.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (44:55)
Yeah. Yeah. I had a suggestion from someone, actually an old coworker who she was like a mom of four girls. She had been through it all. And she was like, my biggest piece of advice is to keep or to get maternity clothes that you can wear postpartum because you're not just going to, once the baby's out, you're not just going to nicely pack them away. Like you're going to be wearing those for a while. So

That was great advice for me. I mean, I probably wore some of like the athletic clothes till Bodie was like a year old, if I'm being honest, but it was such great advice. Cause then I didn't have to like, I definitely felt weird in my body and not able to fit in the things I wanted to fit into. But then I was like, well I have this set of things that is okay for me to wear that I know is going to be comfortable. I know it's going to fit me.

So I think that was really good advice that I never would have thought of. I definitely thought like, okay, let me pack these maternity jeans away because I'm never going to wear them again. But I did wind up wearing maternity stuff for a very long time.

Mariela (46:00)
huh.

Yeah, you kind of need to, right? Like I don't think I able to fit into like my pre -pregnancy genes until, man, six months. So.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (46:13)
Yeah.

Mariela (46:16)
But I was just kind of wearing a lot of like loungy clothes, which doesn't make you feel like super cute and pretty. But you gotta wear whatever makes you feel comfortable. Like I wish I had invested on some clothes that was fitting me for where my body was at during that time.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (46:24)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. I will say the one brand that I love are two brands, I'll say the two brands I love that are good for pregnancy that I like also still wear now one is kindred bravely. I the pants are like so comfortable and stretchy and I still wear them to bed now and I'm so glad I invested in them when I was pregnant. But then the old Navy maternity is like

incredible because it's, they have a line that is like compression, which was great for postpartum when I was feeling like I needed to be sucked in a little bit. it was perfect for obviously for pregnancy to like kind of hold your belly in, but then also postpartum, even a little bit beyond when I was working out again, I was like, I need to continue to be held together a little bit.

So those are my two big recommendations for like maternity and postpartum wear.

Mariela (47:33)
I don't invest in anything which I should have and like I said next time around I'm doing like it probably 50 % of the things that I did not do I will be doing

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (47:37)
Yeah.

Yeah, right. So tell me, I know you said you don't think that you would do it totally differently or if that were a ton of things that you would change. But looking back on your experience, what things would you implement if you chose to have another or if you could like tell yourself your early pregnancy self, something that would make a difference for you?

Mariela (48:10)
get a postpartum doula.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (48:12)
Yes.

Mariela (48:12)
I think that is the very first thing I would do differently. I would definitely do a different registry where I focus more on like my postpartum journey, the supports that I need. I would do a menu of things that I do and don't want as far as interventions go. I would stick to the same OB that I had. I was very content with both of them. I don't think...

I have it in me to want to do a home birth or a birth center. I would stick to the hospital.

and I would have my hospital bag packed up 37 weeks.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (48:57)
That's a great suggestion.

Mariela (48:59)
But other than that, I feel like most of the stuff that we needed the help with from family as far as like the dogs, we were pretty prepared on. I really would probably invest more time on just like I said, preparing for the postpartum stage and not focusing too much on the baby needs and baby stuff. And

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (49:06)
Mm, yeah.

Mariela (49:25)
that last week, like let's say, you know, I make it to the 40 weeks, like I would be definitely taking lots of time off at like 38, 39 weeks. If my son is in Montessori and he's only going part time, then I would increase it.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (49:48)
Yes, yeah, if you can, definitely do that.

Mariela (49:50)
Yeah, I think I would try to do that or like use us family to watch him because you know when you have a baby you don't sleep and so just trying to take a little bit of rest and me time like going to get a manicure and a pedicure going to get if I'm able to Facial if I can get a prenatal massage doing all of those in the 37 to 39 week time span

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (50:20)
Yeah, I think that's a great suggestion. One of the things that I could not get over while I was laboring was the fact that I never prioritized going to get a pedicure. It's like all I think of because I had it set in my head. I'm to go this day to get it done. And for whatever reason, I didn't or I think I might have already been in like precipitous labor. So I didn't go. And I was like, the reason I had planned to do it early was because

postpartum, I'm not going to get a pedicure. So I was like, I can't believe I didn't get a pedicure. So I agree with that suggestion.

Mariela (50:58)
funny you mentioned that because I think I had a nail appointment for the next day. It's like, obviously there's going to be pictures. I want my nails to look decent. And obviously I couldn't go to that. But yeah, you know, they have like the at home hair service. I wonder if anyone is going to think of the at home like nail service. It's really. Yeah. I mean, that's another thing I think I would add to a registry is like

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (51:06)
Right. Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

think people do it already. Yeah.

Yeah.

Mariela (51:27)
having a blowout. Every time I say a blowout, think, this is mom brain talking, I think of an infant blowout and not like a hair blowout.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (51:41)
That's so funny. Yeah, I think, thinking ahead about what things you would like to have checked off the list prior to that delivery day, if you have a specific day or you have a specific week that you're looking at, I think that can be like, if anybody's similar to me in having a checklist that I'm like, okay, am I just be getting my nails done or getting my haircut, whatever it is or.

making sure my bag is packed the way I'd like it to be packed. think just having that checklist even makes you feel more prepared. Although I feel like you're never really going to be prepared enough to, for your birth, but I think simple things like that, checking off the list can kind of make you feel a little bit more prepared.

Mariela (52:26)
Yeah, I love checking things off the list. It definitely is that like, right? Like you just feel accomplished.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (52:32)
Yeah. Yeah, totally. So before we wrap up, education wise, I know you said that you wish that there was a little bit more education from the doctor's office. What would your advice be for education for moms that are new moms or wanting to do something a little bit different for their next time around? What's some advice you would give on that front?

Mariela (52:54)
One thing I tell moms is to create a list of potential providers that they might need before they have the baby. So like a lactation specialist, a pelvic floor therapist, a mental health therapist, things like that, that you're probably gonna need insurance or want to use insurance. Like have that list, because then if and when you do need it, all you have to do is pull it out instead of trying to figure out who takes my insurance.

who's taking patients, what's my coverage, that you wanna have those. That's a lot of information to try to gather or to try to even have answered when you are nearly postpartum.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (53:38)
Yeah, I am on a big kick about this and people will probably see a theme through my podcast episodes this year, but I am really, really big on creating this list. I had a lot of these providers listed out for myself because I had a doula who suggested it. And it was like a no brainer to me to be like, yeah, obviously get all your people together, but that's not a common thought.

to have, I mean, most people are preparing for like baby to come and labor and delivery. Not often are we thinking about postpartum, but the last thing you want to do is being on the phone with insurance to say, Hey, does this, is this going to get covered or how much of it will be covered? Like that's the very last thing you want to do. So I am on a big diatribe about this of finding providers that you align with.

that fit your network and getting in with them right away just so that when you do need them, you can just call them or text them or message them and not have to worry about the logistics of it all.

Mariela (54:45)
Yes, yes, I think that is like that alone saves you so much time and headache.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (54:53)
Yes, yes. Yeah, I remember. had intentions of having a pelvic floor therapist, I had a bunch of people lined up phone numbers, all of that. But pelvic floor, I was like, well, I'll just see who, I don't know, for whatever reason, it wasn't on my list of a specific provider. And so when I very much needed it, I was sitting, researching on insurance doing the whole thing. And I'm like, my god, I wish I would have done this when it was just me.

the dogs just sitting on the couch would have been so much easier than with a newborn, nursing, bleeding, crying, all of the things to find someone that fit with what I needed and within my insurance. So I'm on a big trip with aligning your providers prior to having a newborn.

Mariela (55:28)
Yes!

Yeah, I think that's like the biggest piece of advice. And also like whenever you have people come over, instead of just handing the baby over to them, like ask them to do something. Ask them to like just have a checklist of tasks that people can complete when they visit you, like change the laundry, load the dishwasher, chop vegetables, whatever. Like people, I always say this, especially if you...

have already had a baby, like you are willing to help a new mom because you know what that process was like. So most people will be happy to do it.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (56:23)
Yeah, I always say, think about like, if you have a friend and they were like, Hey, can you just unload the dishwasher? I'd be like, my God. Yeah. What else can I do? People want to help you. And I think it's easier said than done, but I think if you can lean into letting people help you, cause this is like a very vulnerable time and, and people very much want to help you through it. So allowing people to help you, is definitely key. I love that advice.

Mariela (56:51)
And as a mom, you're going to have to learn to set boundaries. So it's a great practice to, you know, start being able to say, is what I need from somebody that's in my home right now.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (56:57)
Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, absolutely. So anything else that you want to share about your story or advice to other moms who are just starting that you would give.

Mariela (57:15)
You know, if you are not into making a birth plan or having a birth menu, it's okay. I think there are many moms, I'm one of those, it's not something that I wanted. So it's okay, but definitely just ask to be either educated on the options that you have or ask for some time before you make a decision.

That way you can really process that with your partner. Unless it's a life or death situation, you always have a couple minutes.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (57:49)
Yeah, that's a good one.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think what you did of having your husband as kind of your advocate, utilizing your partner as your teammate and, and knowing that like, okay, I'm going to be really going through it and, leaning on them to kind of be your voice, knowing what you want and, and knowing kind of where your preferences lie, I think can be really helpful.

Mariela (58:18)
Yeah.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (58:19)
Well, thank you so much for sharing your birth story. I know it can be little vulnerable to share, but I think it's so helpful to other moms to hear stories. don't have to be like a crazy off the wall birth story, but I think stories like yours where there are things you would do differently, maybe, maybe not. I kind of love that you took some things that

Now that you know more, you would do more maybe. But I love that you were kind of able to look back at it and say, hey, this is how it was supposed to go. And then have an idea for what you would do next time.

Mariela (58:56)
Thank you so much for having me.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (58:59)
I'm happy to. Well, thank you so much. Where can people find you?

Mariela (59:03)
You can go to my website at NewMomTalk .com. From there you can link to my Instagram at NewMomTalk .podcast or my YouTube. If you're in the San Diego County area, you can go to Carl's Bad Mom Crew and I have a ton of events that are coming up, so definitely check those out. Yeah, please follow, support.

Jessica | The Mama Making Podcast (59:28)
Yeah, well, thank you so

Mariela (59:29)
Thank you, thank